


the best friends club

by potterheading



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dogs, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Harry Potter wants a dog, M/M, Pets, a dog named Achilles, draco is very against this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28268049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potterheading/pseuds/potterheading
Summary: “draco, this is achilles,” harry grinned, finally pulling the puppy from beneath his jacket. he was small, with a gorgeous golden coat and floppy ears. “he’s a golden retriever!”“i cannot believe you.” draco murmured, staring at harry incredulously. “you actually went out and got a fucking puppy. did you even get the milk i asked you for?”-in which draco is very against harry getting a puppy. until he isn't.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	the best friends club

**Author's Note:**

> hiya!
> 
> this entire story is based off of this tweet that had been living in my head rent-free for the past 24 hours or so >> https://twitter.com/bobby/status/1341247597776941056
> 
> so here's some lighthearted fun. enjoy!

“so,” harry started, sitting up and turning towards draco. curious, draco flicked his wand and muted the television. “i’ve been doing some thinking.” 

“don’t hurt yourself,” draco smirked, poking at harry’s thigh with his socked foot. despite his snark, his eyes were bright with affection as he looked over at harry. 

“i think we should get a pet.” harry said, grinning to soften the impact. 

draco stared over at him blankly, his mouth slightly open. as the moment grew longer, harry began to fidget in his seat. the only sound that could be heard throughout the entire house was the faint ticking of the wall clock. 

“like a fish, or something?” draco finally asked, his voice sounding comically strangled. in his lap, his hands were squeezing the throw blanket that covered him - his knuckles stark white. his eyes had widened - and he looked a bit deranged. on the other side of the couch, harry scooted a bit closer to the arm, smiling nervously. 

“or something, yes.” he said. his cheeks were starting to throb uncomfortably, as a result of the sickly-sweet grin he was holding. “it would be really fun!” 

“i bed to differ.” draco spat, the pitch of his voice rising. he looked an uncomfortable mixture of constipation and fear, and in any other circumstance harry would’ve laughed. 

“oh, please.” harry said, reaching out and squeezing draco’s ankle. in response, draco snatched his foot away from harry, glaring at him venomously. “you’re telling me you never wanted a puppy? or even a crup?” 

“absolutely not!” draco stood from the couch, affronted. “i was raised in a manor, not a barn, potter. pets are simply unacceptable. merlin knows why you would want some filthy mongrel wandering around your house - tracking dirt and shit all over the place. it’s bad enough you always forget to spell the bottom of your shoes clean after you come inside - how can you expect to keep a clean home with an animal running about? have you gone mad?” 

harry bit his lip in an effort to swallow his mirth. draco’s face was red and he was pointing his finger at harry accusingly. it was a bit reminiscent of the beginning of their relationship, when they had been all pointed edges and kisses full of teeth and blood. 

“draco, don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic?” harry tried, his hands trembling with the effort of holding in his laughter. 

“how dare you!” draco shrieked, his finger itching towards his wand. “harry james potter, i swear to merlin if you bring a dog home, i’m leaving. i will pack my bags and you will never see me again. i promise you that much.” 

with that, draco spun on his heel and marched up the stairs, still grumbling to himself. the gesture was supposed to be intimidating, harry was sure, but it lost a bit of it’s fire, seeing as draco was wearing bright green bottoms decorated with snitches, bunny slippers, and a faded weasley sweater. 

“draco,” harry called after him - his voice trembling with amusement. “let’s talk about this, baby.” 

in response, draco screamed something back at him that sounded a bit like rapid fire french, and slammed their bedroom door. 




“draco?” harry called as he shouldered open the front door. beneath his jacket, the puppy squirmed excitedly. lowering his voice, harry addressed the dog. “just another second, buddy.” 

“i’m in the kitchen!” draco called back. “why are you using the door? is the floo down again?” 

“no…” harry said, turning the corner. draco was leaning across the counter, his back to harry. he seemed to be eating a snack of wine, crackers, and cheese - ever the posh asshole. “just a bit hard to floo with a companion.” 

“a companion?” draco asked, turning around. he scanned harry for a moment before his eyes fell on the lump in his side. “harry james potter,” he said lowly, grabbing his wand from beneath him and pointing it directly at harry. his eyes narrowed dangerously, and his mouth curled down. “i swear to merlin and morganna, both.” 

“draco, this is achilles,” harry grinned, finally pulling the puppy from beneath his jacket. he was small, with a gorgeous golden coat and floppy ears. “he’s a golden retriever!” 

“i cannot believe you.” draco murmured, staring at harry incredulously. “you actually went out and got a fucking puppy. did you even get the milk i asked you for?” 

“erm…” harry scratched at the back of his neck with his free hand. he _knew_ he was forgetting something. “well, you and achilles can bond while i go back out and get it!” 

“no.” draco said firmly. he downed the remaining wine in his glass before slamming it back on the counter. “i’m not doing this. i told you, potter. no dogs.” 

with that, he pushed past harry and achilles, marching up the stairs and slamming the door once more. after a few moments - during which harry gave achilles a personal tour of their home - a loud crack sounded from upstairs, signifying that draco had just diapparanted from the bedroom. 

“suppose it’s just you and me then,” harry murmured, squatting to ruffle achilles fur. in response, achilles yipped happily. 

_one year later_

“draco, do you know what happened to my glasses?” harry shouted from the kitchen, peering into the bread box. “they’re not coming when i summon them. did you vanish them again? it doesn’t matter how many times you do that, i’m not using the spell! it makes my eyes itch!” 

“i have no idea what you’re talking about,” draco murmured noncommittally. 

harry scoffed as he entered the living room, taking in the sight. even without his glasses - he could clearly see what was happening. draco was lying on the couch, with achilles sat on his chest. after only a year, the dog had grown rapidly and was now nearly 40 kgs, in comparison to the 3 kg he had been when harry had first bought him home. however, none of this seemed to matter to draco, who grinned up at the dog as if he was weightless. 

“i suppose they’re not in here,” harry said miserably, trying not to dwell on the fact that achilles definitely liked draco more than harry - even though draco had refused to touch him for the first two months of his time in their home. 

“nope,” draco sang, popping the p. as harry left the room, draco continued to speak, although obviously not to him. “you’ve got just the cutest paws in the world, do you know that achilles? perhaps we can enter you into a competition. all of the other puppies would just die of shame as soon as you walked in, dear.” he cooed, his voice annoyingly saccharine. 

as harry searched the study - more fragments of draco and achilles decidedly one-sided conversation floated through the walls. 

“i’ve written a song for us, would you like to hear it?” 

the worst part of all of this were the pauses in between each sentence, as if achilles was actually responding in a language only draco could hear or understand. a spike of anger rose in harry’s stomach at both his boyfriend and the dog - draco had never written a song for him. 

“it’s called best friends club. the lyrics are still a work in progress, but here’s what i’ve got so far. _draco and achilles, in the best friends club. harry potter, is a tosser, and is not in the club. just draco and achilles, forever best friends. yeah, yeah._ ”

harry bit down the urge to burst into the living room and tell draco that his lyrics were shit and that singing was out of tune. 

“do you like it? it’s just something i came up with today - there’s still room for improvement, of course.” 

as draco continued to converse with the dog, harry stomped up the steps, still in pursuit of his glasses. he didn’t slam the door behind him. (well, he did. but only to check if his glasses were behind the door. they weren’t.)

when harry finally found his glasses - in the guest bedroom closet, tucked into a pair of his bedroom slippers ( _damn achilles_ ), he pushed them on and stomped back downstairs, his fists curled at his side. 

draco and achilles were still lying on the couch, with draco clutching his paws and screeching his way through a remix of _best friends club._ achilles barked along, his snout pointed towards the ceiling. 

“i found my glasses,” harry shouted, his voice coming off a bit angrier than intended. “also, i think that we should get a cat.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hi, thanks for reading!
> 
> i literally posted yesterday that i wouldn't be uploading again for a while but here i am again... i think i'm obsessed with this website. oops. 
> 
> anyways, all comments, kudos, and bookmarks are appreciated. 
> 
> thanks again! <3


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